ok.. i am finally goin' to talk about ms ruth ng..

maybe you people out there are probably wondering why the hell i wanna tok about such a grumpy cow right? --*heads nod*-- well, i guess i juz wanna explain why i like to hang around in the art room so frequently.. and probably thinks that im less a wierdo than i am.. ( or maybe i'll still remain the weirdo that i am)

ok.. my story begins..

it all started off with me bring fat.. yesh.. F-A-T.. fat..

ok.. maybe i wasnt that fat.. i mean there are fatter pple out there than me.. but to my mom.. i was this enormous hippO who basically looked fat in anything.. thats why she wont buy me new clothes coz she says that i have to lose weight first before i could buy that gorgeous outfit even though i look great in it..

so she calls me 'fat' at home.. and i defintely wasnt very happy about it.. i mean.. how could i get a self esteem if the person who gave birth to you and is supposedly the one who loves u the most jeers at you and says that you are fat and illustrates her point with big obscene actions and constipated faces.. which usually are very.. XtreMely XaggerateD and extremely funny to my 2 younger sisters..

very soon.. my sister calls be fat too.. juz recently.. she called me ' fat young lady' and laughed.. and i dont even call her names.. and if i were to.. it would be a mile long..

once.. i was trying to practise this dance i learnt.. and u know what happened?.. she said that if i danced all my fats would jump up and down like a basketball.. and she laughed hysterically.. and even my mom laughed..

1) i dont have that much fats for them to jump up and down like a basketball

2) i was trying to lose weight.. and dancing was one of the only options my mom allowed me to lose weight.. she wont let me play soccer.. damn..

3) my mum so didnt scold her or anything.. and she LAUGHED..

ok.. so in school.. in class.. well.. basically.. i'm this fat kid who flunks her tests and stuff.. and its like.. the guys who sit at the back of my class sometimes make comments about my weight.. and its isnt very nice coz i sit in front and its like.. they'll like shout it all the way from the back to the front..

ok..and before i go on.. i would like to say something..

i am very sensitive about comments made about my weight..

so.. im juz this fat idiot.. both at home or in school.. its like.. no one wants to know the real me..no one gives me the chance to show what i've got.. in class.. as long as i flunk any test.. im nobody.. N-O-B-O-D-Y.. nobody.. so i pratically dont exist.. seriously..

so.. this is where ruth ng enters the story..

ruth ng doesnt judge me by what she sees.. she aCcepts me.. whether i wear my skirt short or long.. have one ear hole or none.. she sees past my outer shell and accepts me..

the art room is the only place in school where i can escape from reality.. the only place where i can get my peace and quiet from.. the only place where i am not judged for whaT i am but wHo i am..

and i appreciate that a lot..