this is a post which i wrote on the 1st of august this yr.. but didnt post it.. here it is..

"hm.. ok.. lemme tell u all the sick thots i've had since a long time..

i used to have this hamster.. and its like.. sometimes.. when i hold her.. i would have this sick feeling of anting to squeeze her until blood spurted out and her eyes poped out.. until her bones snapped and cracked.. and then i would let go off her.. coz i was scared that i really would do it.. there was this once.. when i really did try.. and then i saw her eyes sort of popping out then i freaked out.. then i put her back into the cage..

there was this period of time when i really wanted to kill someone.. and i had all the steps thot out.. and how i would hide the body.. and cover up my tracks..

sometimes.. i want to drop something which is labelled "poison" on it to a drink of my friends and tyhen see wad would happen to them.. then i thought of how cool it would be to have a close friend of yours who died.. then i would be so sad.. crying.. shocked.. when i knew exactly how tt person died..

tts y i rejected someone who was very close to me.. somone i cared abt.. i shunned tt person away.. fraid tt i would someday do harm to tt person.."