ok.. well.. this is smth tt i have been feeling lor..

its abt choir..

anyway.. i feel tt the choir should only be arnd 40 pple like.. at most 50.. coz.. i feel that a lot of pple are not contributing to the sound.. and its like.. they are juz there u know.. not doing much.. and its like.. quite unfair to the pple who are better..

i know im like such a bitch coz i do know tt if tt does happen.. some pple i really like being with wont be there lor.. ( i really AM a bitch implying tt im better.. im so sorry..)

anyway.. i still hold my stand of not wanting to join SYF.. ms kelly lim.. u may that if i enjoy singing but dont want to join SYF.. that i am mocking singing.. u are wrong..

B COZ I AM MOCKING CHOIR..

not singing..

i love singing.. but b coz of wad choir is.. i rather not admit tt i love singing.. i am ashamed that u choir pple say that u too love singing..

b coz loving choir is different from loving singing..

very different..

when u choir pple ask me whether i love choir.. i say no.. and then u gasp and sigh and ask me.. then y did u join choir in the first place.. its b coz.. i love singing..

I LOVE SINGING..

i joined choir b coz its was where (supposedly) pple who love to sing come to together.. pple who want to make beautiful music together.. but.. but i juz dont see it in choir..

b coz i see u pple as pple who juz wanna come to choir for the sake of coming.. or u wee forced to join choir.. or b coz u have frens here and dont care abt the music.. or maybe b coz u dun hafta to stand under the hot sun and tt there's air-con..

damn u..

so stop asking me whether i like CHOIR.. b coz i HATE choir..

I HATE CHOIR

thats y i dun wanna go for SYF.. i really dont..

u may say tt im stupid.. wierd or retarded.. but i dont care.. b coz i juz dont..

...

...

damnit.. im into one of my choir-hating moods again.. ... damn..

anyway.. ms lim.. u lied to me.. you said tt those who werent in syf still had to go for all the practices that syf pple were going to.. ALL..

but on the schedule.. wad do i see? i see that the non-SYF pple only have to go for the sec1 orientation.. while SYF pple have to go for tt and 3 other practices..

i dun wanna go..

i really dun wanna go..

i dun care..

i can get auditioned for all i like..

and i'll sing my worst..

like how i did to mr low.. (but i stupidly gave up in the end)

damnit..

one month to SYF.. and we cant even do the expressions or dynamics well.. one month.. we dont have enough time.. we sound sucky.. ok.. maybe we dont.. but we sound dead.. D-E-A-D.. damnit.. i cant really differenciate bad and good.. so im juz bull-shiting here..

and y wont u let me go? im not a good singer.. there are better singers arnd to sing sorprano.. i mean.. if don have me there wouldnt be a difference in ther volume or sound right? be coz there are pple like debbie and juitlian.. they are like 20 of us put together when they sing together.. so y need us?? or.. y need me?? there are other singers too..

damnit..

and there ARE enuff experienced singers around to pull the choir up in times of trouble.. and lemme tell u pple out there.. i wont be able to do tt.. i mean.. i would be the person pulling pple down.. b coz i cant tell whether someone if sharp or flat.. i mean.. i don have super sonic hearing or perfect pitch.. i mean.. i might pull the choir down..

so y take the risk?

and u pple out there.. stop telling me to go for SYF.. its getting on my nerves.. if i still hafta go.. i'll juz hafta break a leg before SYF and leading to the unfit condition to go.. yeah.. maybe.. or i could get an MC.. nah.. not as dramatic.. haha..

ok.. i should stop blabbering b4 some committee members see this and further more bitch abt me during their committee meetings..

and oh.. if u run out of things to bitch abt.. here another thing to bitch abt me.. um.. there was this once when i skipped choir.. saying tt i was sick.. and then went to help drama.. like clear stuff and help them clean off make up.. and believe me.. i had much more fun doing tt then singing with u.. with u.. choir pple..

SO THERE!

there are things that i want to do, but cant; there are things that i want to say, and can. fuck you.