ADAM KHOO WORKSHOP

i was brainwashed.. i proudly announce tt i WAS brainwashed.. but i didnt cry when the instructors were crapping.. i was looking at the celing forcing myself not to cry.. if i could do it again.. i would cry.. cry and show tt i care..

these 2 nights.. i havent seen my sisters, brother and mom.. and i actually believed wadever ramesh told us.. i really did.. i really felt motivated..

and guess wad.. i reach home today.. and the first thing i ever did to my mum in these 3 days was to argue..

and wadever i had learnt from ramesh and all the other instructors.. i gave it back to them.. i didnt want to get 9A1s.. i wanna fail juz to spite her.. i dun wanna do ANYTHING successful again..

lemme tell u.. i see her.. then i juz felt so dArn angry with her.. tt she was the one who made me subconciously made me believe tt i was fat and stupid and wouldnt make it far in life.. she always said tt i was this fat pig.. that i would grow up to be a cleaner..

time to come.. i do think tt i am fat.. which i am.. i really am.. damnit.. im in TAF.. how embarrassing is tt? my NAPHA has nv not been a gold.. always near full marks.. who is to decide whether i should be in TAF.. FUCK..

u know wad? if i did tok on stage.. i would say i love u to both parents but im sorry to my dad.. y? the plain reason tt i still remember wad my mum did..

my mum used to be very strict with me.. then there was this once.. i got a 87 for a test or smth.. then she angry grab my hair and then juz repeatedly smash my mouth into the wall beside.. my lip got cut lah.. got blood everywhere.. and u expect me to say sorry to her for all those stuff.. tt woman who cant control her anger and vents its on me?? no way.. dream on..

oh yes.. i HAVE returned everything i have back to them.. i dun wanna do anything now.. i dun wanna go to university anymore.. i dun wanna be anyone anymore.. hooray.. my sub conscious mind heard tt.. im dead meat.. i wont succeed in life..

so stop telling me otherwise..