its not worth killing yourself
if you aint gonna die
about me
*girl
*NC16.. lol
*8th May
*css
*3/1
*choir [sop]
*soccer
*striker for girls
*defender for guys
*roller-blading
*skateboarding
*shopping (ha)
*doodling
*
**
**
**
**
**
**
**
***to get A1 for chinese
***to get A1 for a maths
***to get A1 for english
***to get A1 for maths
***to get A1 for biology
***to get A2 for physics
***to get A2 for geography
***to get A2 for combined humanties
***to get B3 for chemistry
***help out xingnan choir
***take drama as sub at VJC
***study at NTU/ overseas
***get a beetle car
***FASHION DESIGNER
my past
07/01/2004 - 08/01/2004
08/01/2004 - 09/01/2004
09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004
10/01/2004 - 11/01/2004
11/01/2004 - 12/01/2004
12/01/2004 - 01/01/2005
02/01/2005 - 03/01/2005
03/01/2005 - 04/01/2005
04/01/2005 - 05/01/2005
05/01/2005 - 06/01/2005
06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005
07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005
my reads
haikal : far away now
kathleen : my twin sis
jane : my ma
julie : my real sis
samantha
suk mun : partner-in-crime
debbie
colby
juit lian
luo sheng
sarah lah
hui ru
li ru
see kai
yan shan: crazy partner
cheng jie
kuan hui
thomas
shasha
ruiming: gotta read dis
aidil: sax player
joshua
kang sheng: nice shoes
weixue: old classmate
wan xin
hsien lee: fashion designer
fang yi: WET!!
zhao perng
reuben
si meng
yu han
tze chee
stanley
geraldine
ruth
carrie
deyang
farhan
theng loke
ying chen
qiu qun
mel c: cool hair
jeffery
mr toh
guy, interrupted
cathy
ginger
marina/ chloe
tiawanajane: lemons?
madison
kanika
pablo: i like this guy!
adam
blueskeleton: cool site with pics
katt
jaimekate
crap
my virtual pets
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the current moon phase
moon phases |
my hangouts
CSS Choir Forum
My Friendster
Pyro, my love
shout at me
gimme a hug
*HUGS* TOTAL! give Kathy more *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
hits
what i have learnt
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
haiya..
have to work harder liao..
muz aim for VJC..
even if cannot get in.. muz aim lah..
so going for the audition for tml.. hope can get in.. but if got sightreading.. i die.. coz i cant sight read.. i need to hear the song once first.. then i will remember..
ok..
maybe not juz once.. but a lot of times.. darn it..
haiz..
anyway.. the vp said tt pple who get 30 pts and more will get adopted.. hm.. wonder hu's my adoptive parent.. i still dunno leh.. hmph.. maybe no one wanna take me ... hahaha.. wadever..
hm.. mr chng is very nice.. hahaha.. lol..
have to work harder liao..
muz aim for VJC..
even if cannot get in.. muz aim lah..
so going for the audition for tml.. hope can get in.. but if got sightreading.. i die.. coz i cant sight read.. i need to hear the song once first.. then i will remember..
ok..
maybe not juz once.. but a lot of times.. darn it..
haiz..
anyway.. the vp said tt pple who get 30 pts and more will get adopted.. hm.. wonder hu's my adoptive parent.. i still dunno leh.. hmph.. maybe no one wanna take me ... hahaha.. wadever..
hm.. mr chng is very nice.. hahaha.. lol..
ok..
im sorry debz..
...
im sorry debz..
...
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
...
ok
im gonna start complaining again..
... its quite retarded though
anyway..
today.. when choir broke for sectionals..
she asked jl to take sectionals.. ok.. though im trying not to make a big fuss out of ti though i am.. isnt jane THE sl? jl is only th asl lor.. unless she is implying tt jl is more power than jane.. thus jane is not worth being the sl..
its like wah lao lor.. i felt damn pissed.. ok.. its not my problem.. but i feel tt its unfair for jane.. i mean.. muz at least give jane a bit of face.. let jane take the sectionals..
and so wad if the altos tok bad abt jane when she makes a mistake.. wouldnt they do tt to jl too? u are making a very biased comment lor.. its like.. jane is not worse than jl ok.. its juz tt jl and she got SINGING CLASSES.. and we normal pple DONT.. ok????
and after tt.. we learnt this new song lah.. its sounded quite cool lah.. then in the middle.. got a guy and girl rapper.. ...
guess who got the female rapper part?
come on..
guess..
you are so right..
it was her..
again..
FUCK!!!
I WANNA GET TT RAPPING PART!!!!! DAMNIT!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
WHY OF ALL PEOPLE.. HER AGAIN!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?
damnit.. life is so bloody unfair..
wah lao.. and i was juz abt starting to like choir again..
and then right before choir end.. vicky loh come to me and ask.. 'wad are you doing here'
like.. wtf.. before syf u make me stay here.. u force me to come for choir.. and now i come for choir.. u ask me wad the fuck im doing here.. JUZ BECAUSE I NV HAND IN YOUR CONSENT FORM FOR SOME FUCKING JULY THE 1ST THINGY????????
now that im of no use to u.. u treat me like shit right??? can lah.. fine.. then i shant care any more.. i shall call you by the nickname created specially for you by your favourite class..
SO THEREVICKY MONSTER!!!!!!!!!
*P.S. i gave you face and striked out the name..
ok
im gonna start complaining again..
... its quite retarded though
anyway..
today.. when choir broke for sectionals..
she asked jl to take sectionals.. ok.. though im trying not to make a big fuss out of ti though i am.. isnt jane THE sl? jl is only th asl lor.. unless she is implying tt jl is more power than jane.. thus jane is not worth being the sl..
its like wah lao lor.. i felt damn pissed.. ok.. its not my problem.. but i feel tt its unfair for jane.. i mean.. muz at least give jane a bit of face.. let jane take the sectionals..
and so wad if the altos tok bad abt jane when she makes a mistake.. wouldnt they do tt to jl too? u are making a very biased comment lor.. its like.. jane is not worse than jl ok.. its juz tt jl and she got SINGING CLASSES.. and we normal pple DONT.. ok????
and after tt.. we learnt this new song lah.. its sounded quite cool lah.. then in the middle.. got a guy and girl rapper.. ...
guess who got the female rapper part?
come on..
guess..
you are so right..
it was her..
again..
FUCK!!!
I WANNA GET TT RAPPING PART!!!!! DAMNIT!!!! WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
WHY OF ALL PEOPLE.. HER AGAIN!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?
damnit.. life is so bloody unfair..
wah lao.. and i was juz abt starting to like choir again..
and then right before choir end.. vicky loh come to me and ask.. 'wad are you doing here'
like.. wtf.. before syf u make me stay here.. u force me to come for choir.. and now i come for choir.. u ask me wad the fuck im doing here.. JUZ BECAUSE I NV HAND IN YOUR CONSENT FORM FOR SOME FUCKING JULY THE 1ST THINGY????????
now that im of no use to u.. u treat me like shit right??? can lah.. fine.. then i shant care any more.. i shall call you by the nickname created specially for you by your favourite class..
SO THERE
*P.S. i gave you face and striked out the name..
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
well, that was just something i thought of in class when i got back my results.
well, you guessed it. i did really badly..
i flunked all 3 sciences.. as in normal standard of flunking.. not 4/1 standard of flunking..
and..
well
yeah..
i cried a lot today..
now i realised how sucky i am..
but im not gonna sulk for long..
coz im gonna work hard..
im serious..
*clears throat*
I swear that I will study chinese these 2 weeks like nobody's business and earn my rightful A in chinese.. I swear that I wont let my class, myself and my teachers down.
After that, i swear that I will go through EVERYTHING on physics and both maths. I will do the tys like its some secret manual and finsih every qns and ASK pple when i dunno.. forget abt ur fucking ego kathy and pls ASK!!!!
at that same time, i will be doing chem too.. practising so that i will then naturally remember all the chem..
all that in the month of june..
so that I wont have to get into JCs by affirmative action.. i wont get into JCs thru the "pity way" I will get into a GOOD JC with my OWN 2 hands..
and..
pls dont demoralise me during this period of time.. i'm very emotional.. thnx..
I will get into VJC
Watch me.
well, you guessed it. i did really badly..
i flunked all 3 sciences.. as in normal standard of flunking.. not 4/1 standard of flunking..
and..
well
yeah..
i cried a lot today..
now i realised how sucky i am..
but im not gonna sulk for long..
coz im gonna work hard..
im serious..
*clears throat*
I swear that I will study chinese these 2 weeks like nobody's business and earn my rightful A in chinese.. I swear that I wont let my class, myself and my teachers down.
After that, i swear that I will go through EVERYTHING on physics and both maths. I will do the tys like its some secret manual and finsih every qns and ASK pple when i dunno.. forget abt ur fucking ego kathy and pls ASK!!!!
at that same time, i will be doing chem too.. practising so that i will then naturally remember all the chem..
all that in the month of june..
so that I wont have to get into JCs by affirmative action.. i wont get into JCs thru the "pity way" I will get into a GOOD JC with my OWN 2 hands..
and..
pls dont demoralise me during this period of time.. i'm very emotional.. thnx..
I will get into VJC
Watch me.
Do you think that the deaf can hear music too? And that their music is more beautiful and moving then the music we hear because there are no restrictions to their imagination on what music just might be?
Maybe. Possible.
Do you think that the blind can see colour? And that their colours are much more beautiful and lively than the colous we see because there are no restrictions to their belief on what colours just might be?
Maybe. Possible.
Do you think that I can succeed too? And that my success will be more beautiful and inspiring than the successes you see because there are no restrictions to my potential on what my success just might be?
Yes. Possible, because like the blind and the deaf, if you believe in yourself, anything can happen and anything will come true.
Believe in yourself.
Maybe. Possible.
Do you think that the blind can see colour? And that their colours are much more beautiful and lively than the colous we see because there are no restrictions to their belief on what colours just might be?
Maybe. Possible.
Do you think that I can succeed too? And that my success will be more beautiful and inspiring than the successes you see because there are no restrictions to my potential on what my success just might be?
Yes. Possible, because like the blind and the deaf, if you believe in yourself, anything can happen and anything will come true.
Believe in yourself.
Wednesday, May 11, 2005
juz compained a bit..
and well
yeah
i realised tt i dun even know y im angry..
haha
i feel so stupid..
i mean
if i were to tell it to someone who knows me..
well..
that person would understand y i feel tt way
but i f i tell it to someone who doesnt even know wad the hell is going on
well
tt person wouldnt even know wad the hell im toking abt and y im feeling tt way..
haha
y argh?
lol
but i still feel angry..
damnit..
lol
i feel like i wanna use tt cool lighter that hamidah and haikal (thanku so much) with my nickname carved on it and burn them away..
yeah..
haha
oh yeah.. thanks for all those pple who remembered my b-day and wished me well.. and those who gave me prezzie.. lol.. thank u.. even though now its exam period..
haiz..
and well
yeah
i realised tt i dun even know y im angry..
haha
i feel so stupid..
i mean
if i were to tell it to someone who knows me..
well..
that person would understand y i feel tt way
but i f i tell it to someone who doesnt even know wad the hell is going on
well
tt person wouldnt even know wad the hell im toking abt and y im feeling tt way..
haha
y argh?
lol
but i still feel angry..
damnit..
lol
i feel like i wanna use tt cool lighter that hamidah and haikal (thanku so much) with my nickname carved on it and burn them away..
yeah..
haha
oh yeah.. thanks for all those pple who remembered my b-day and wished me well.. and those who gave me prezzie.. lol.. thank u.. even though now its exam period..
haiz..
...
i wanna say smth really badly now..
but i cant say it here..
coz its really insensitive..
..
i feel like crying now..
and there's no one i can call
coz i rejected them all
when they tried to keep in contact
i brushed them away
with homework as an excuse..
now
i can only say this in code..
ok.. maybe not..
damnit..
i feel like screaming..
and crying all at the same time..
coz i've suddenly lost all hope..
every
single
hope
is now all gone..
i have no motivation no longer..
because i know wad i truly am
i am a pariah
with no talents whatsoever
now leave me alone..
this is the uptmost truth
and nth but the truth
so stop telling me its not
because it is
and dun bullshit to me abt wadever fucking fashion show i did..
coz tt doesnt count in Os..
it doesnt..
and i am not artistic
its juz tt u pple dun know how to see art
and im not fucking creative..
the are pple in our class even more talented..
even more artiscally talented..
go appreciate them
coz they are smarter than me
coz they are better looking than me
i dun care
i really fucking dun care
b coz no matter wadever fucking thing i do
it doesnt count
doesnt it always happen this way to the ugly fat girl?
well
FACE IT
it does.
i wanna say smth really badly now..
but i cant say it here..
coz its really insensitive..
..
i feel like crying now..
and there's no one i can call
coz i rejected them all
when they tried to keep in contact
i brushed them away
with homework as an excuse..
now
i can only say this in code..
ok.. maybe not..
damnit..
i feel like screaming..
and crying all at the same time..
coz i've suddenly lost all hope..
every
single
hope
is now all gone..
i have no motivation no longer..
because i know wad i truly am
i am a pariah
with no talents whatsoever
now leave me alone..
this is the uptmost truth
and nth but the truth
so stop telling me its not
because it is
and dun bullshit to me abt wadever fucking fashion show i did..
coz tt doesnt count in Os..
it doesnt..
and i am not artistic
its juz tt u pple dun know how to see art
and im not fucking creative..
the are pple in our class even more talented..
even more artiscally talented..
go appreciate them
coz they are smarter than me
coz they are better looking than me
i dun care
i really fucking dun care
b coz no matter wadever fucking thing i do
it doesnt count
doesnt it always happen this way to the ugly fat girl?
well
FACE IT
it does.
Thursday, May 05, 2005
well
its been mid yr for quite some time.. while actually.. its been midyr for like.. 3 days.. haha.. i actually feel quite ok with all this.. u know? like.. i mean.. i sort of studied.. so.. not tt bad.. evne though i did almost die at todays lit..
lit..
and i think i did quite well for ss.. lol.. i bet i'll fail CH liao..
haha..
anyway
sre said tt i seem happier these days.. hm.. maybe..
maybe be coz i have less things to care abt.. its juz study study study.. its starting to become a routine.. and i love myself for tt..
omg..
did i juz say i love myself?
well yeah.. i can finally proudly say tt i do love myself for actually even trying to study.. and actually.. for once.. understand wad my classmates are gibbering abt bio..
wait..
doesnt tt mean..
*gasp
IM ONE OF THEM!!!!
haha.. wadever.. i mean.. they are the ones getting into cool JCs right? might as well be like them lah..
haha.. i feel so free these days.. dunno why.. muz be the exams.. lol..
havent been here for so long.. and so much has happened.. well.. now tt i finally changed my password.. i dunno wad else to say here.. oh yeah.. i play habbohotel sg.. my nick is slack-.. so pple playing habbohotel sg.. add me yeah? haha lol..
haiz..
i really dunno wad else to say.. hm.. well.. maybe wad i can say is.. i found tt a lot fo pple in my class is changing.. cliques are changing.. more politics are involved.. though much lesser than politics of choir.. but yeah.. class politics are coming in.. pple are becoming unhappy with the pple they usually hang or have hung out for like the past few yrs..
wads happening?
has tt person changed? or have u changed? think abt it.. im not insulting pple or wad.. im juz voicing out my thoughts.. i dunno..
hm.. after Os.. im gonna make sure our class chaleh will be the best of all.. with major bonding.. (but wads the use liao? we all leaving liao..) hm..
well.. this entry seems long.. but wad the hell.. i'll juz make it longer.. haha
so many class romances.. its so cool.. haha.. but i cant say.. lol.. its like.. got some its so totally unexpected lor.. lol.. hahahaahahaah.. i can write a book after the Os abt them liao lor.. haha..
haiz..
so many things to do after Os.. so many things I wanna do..
haha
anyway.. i better get back to studying.. ciaoz pple..
and if u're reading this.. u should be studying.. tsk tsk
lol
its been mid yr for quite some time.. while actually.. its been midyr for like.. 3 days.. haha.. i actually feel quite ok with all this.. u know? like.. i mean.. i sort of studied.. so.. not tt bad.. evne though i did almost die at todays lit..
lit..
and i think i did quite well for ss.. lol.. i bet i'll fail CH liao..
haha..
anyway
sre said tt i seem happier these days.. hm.. maybe..
maybe be coz i have less things to care abt.. its juz study study study.. its starting to become a routine.. and i love myself for tt..
omg..
did i juz say i love myself?
well yeah.. i can finally proudly say tt i do love myself for actually even trying to study.. and actually.. for once.. understand wad my classmates are gibbering abt bio..
wait..
doesnt tt mean..
*gasp
IM ONE OF THEM!!!!
haha.. wadever.. i mean.. they are the ones getting into cool JCs right? might as well be like them lah..
haha.. i feel so free these days.. dunno why.. muz be the exams.. lol..
havent been here for so long.. and so much has happened.. well.. now tt i finally changed my password.. i dunno wad else to say here.. oh yeah.. i play habbohotel sg.. my nick is slack-.. so pple playing habbohotel sg.. add me yeah? haha lol..
haiz..
i really dunno wad else to say.. hm.. well.. maybe wad i can say is.. i found tt a lot fo pple in my class is changing.. cliques are changing.. more politics are involved.. though much lesser than politics of choir.. but yeah.. class politics are coming in.. pple are becoming unhappy with the pple they usually hang or have hung out for like the past few yrs..
wads happening?
has tt person changed? or have u changed? think abt it.. im not insulting pple or wad.. im juz voicing out my thoughts.. i dunno..
hm.. after Os.. im gonna make sure our class chaleh will be the best of all.. with major bonding.. (but wads the use liao? we all leaving liao..) hm..
well.. this entry seems long.. but wad the hell.. i'll juz make it longer.. haha
so many class romances.. its so cool.. haha.. but i cant say.. lol.. its like.. got some its so totally unexpected lor.. lol.. hahahaahahaah.. i can write a book after the Os abt them liao lor.. haha..
haiz..
so many things to do after Os.. so many things I wanna do..
haha
anyway.. i better get back to studying.. ciaoz pple..
and if u're reading this.. u should be studying.. tsk tsk
lol